Every morning, when my mom would leave for work, I would cry my eyes out. Picture a toddler chasing the door, scrambling to get those last hugs in. I mean it was pure mayhem. Thinking back, my poor grandparents were so patient with me. Each day, they would devote their mornings to calming me with the assurance, “she’s coming back.” It was not until kindergarten where I finally accepted the idea that ‘mommy was coming home.’ I could finally accept the idea that change was not finite.
If my grandparents deflected, distracted or disciplined, I imagine this tough lesson would have been missed. Transitions are a necessary part of life. Things change, and sometimes they return to normal and on other occasions, they are permanent. Developing the ability to personally deal with change is based on how the adults teach us to deal with those changes.
Fast forward into adolescence, I loved playing outside. From sun up, to sun down, you would find me catching the breeze. It was not until the street lights came on did all the neighborhood children hear, “it’s time to come inside the house!” While the feelings of leaving behind bikes, tag, jump rope, and skates truly hurt, what was on the other side wasn’t a bad trade-off. The incentives of fried chicken, beef stew, corn beef and cabbage were pretty fair. If I were silly enough to ignore those aromas penetrating the neighborhood air than within that transition, my trade off may not have appear so gratifying.
World changers, the message in this contains a deeper meaning. We are either taught to live with transitions, accept change gracefully, or fight against the inevitable. For example, I could’ve spent the next 10 years crying about my mom leaving daily, but at some point, I had to accept that no matter how much I cried, she was leaving the house. Or, I could’ve avoided my grandparents calling me inside for dinner, but honestly, the darkness of the city would have eventually brought me inside. There was no need to fight what was coming.
The building blocks of accepting transitions are not always easy. It truly takes us world changers to relay the message that change is inevitable; however, the way we interpret that change is completely up to us. Things are not meant to stay the same and that is simply a part of life. More importantly, we have to be willing to acknowledge the fun we had in those moments while preparing ourselves for what’s next.
We can look at this from the perspective of our sugars and time. Each day, they are growing from infancy into adulthood. There is nothing we can do as world changers to stop that process. Whether we like it or not, little sugar will grow in time, physically, mentally and emotionally. Every few years, a huge transition or shift takes place developmentally that can leave us scratching our heads and running towards the door of “where did the time go?” Accepting our role to cultivate the little sugar is not only our responsibility, as well as our privilege to help them transition into “what’s next.” Our personal experiences are a catalyst to help them relate, empathize, and acknowledge that things change.
Now, I never asked my grandparents what experiences they had with transitions, but I can say they helped me accept mine. They made big shifts seem ‘not so bad’ and in the end, these little moments helped me deal with bigger life transitions.
To ensure we are helping our sugars through these processes, we have to ask ourselves:
1. How do I personally deal with transitions?
2. Can I discern differences between temporary change and permanent change?
3. Am I empathetic towards change in my sugars life?
4. Do I avoid or deflect?
5. Are the communication lines open to listen to their feeling towards change?
World changers, these conversations can begin as early as 2 years old. Our sugars need our support and assurance that change is not always a bad things, it’s simply a shift. Now, how we shift into that change or allow ourselves to perceive change is totally up to us. Their waiting for our guidance to provide the keys.
I know you can do this World Changer. Sometimes it takes personal reflection to deal. As always, I’m cheerleading for you in the corner!
Take Care, C