Having kids is no joke! I know this from personal experience… Finding your groove can be quite the feat after adding a new addition. From baby weight-to sleep deprivation-to life before your new sugar can be quite the adjustment.
Yes, yes, yes…by trade I am a speech and language pathologist that finds creative, fun and effective ways to get you connecting, growing and having a blast with your little sugar…but, as much as I care about my little sugars is as much as I care about you.
Getting lost in the shuffle after childbirth is no joke. One year in the game and finally one morning you wake up feeling like a fragment of your normal self. Yes, it’s that deep.
But, I am here to let you know that it is time! Go on, shake off your mommy cape and know that stepping back into swag can be easy…if done with intent.
Here are some quick tips to step back into swag:
1. Look at yourself in the mirror and proclaim with boldness, “I deserve to take care of myself! Taking care of myself will help me better serve my family.” If you don’t believe this fact, than it will be difficult to follow the remaining steps.
Self-care is not a selfish act. It is a healthy act that allows you to feed your soul. It helps you feel great about you, which will help you feel great to selflessly serve those around you.
2. Devote one uninterrupted hour doing something you love this week. Yes, you can spare an hour. That is less than 1% of your entire week! So, before you try to dismiss me or convince yourself otherwise, think about it like this. There are 168 hours in a week. If you devote just 1 hour, there is no need to feel any guilt!
Remember, this is your time. Read a book, get out and take a walk, schedule an appointment at the nail salon, or the day spa.
And if you are still not convinced…it’s simple…when you look good, or do something that’s personally rewarding, you feel good.
3. Devote 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted phone time with your bestie. My bestie and I can spend hours on the phone and hang up 20 times before someone actually ends the call. My best guess is that you probably have at least one person in your life who fits this profile.
We were placed in community for a reason. To do life together. Social media phrases do not take the place of having a conversation with a live person on the other end of the phone.
It’s also life saving to step outside of the home grind to check in with the one’s you love and those who love you.
Anddddd…the best part is…if you have besties like I do, they can ready you like a book. We all need that person outside of the grind who we can be 100% authentic with, good or well…in progress.
One last thing…your bestie outside of home serves as a reminder that your community extends beyond your home. Don’t get me wrong-I love my family and they love me, but we all share different interest. I know they cannot expect me to be everything for them and I don’t have the expectation for them to be everything for me.
For you new moms, this is an important point. The earlier you start this process, the easier it is to acclimate back into the adult world.
4. This leads me right into my next point about community. Come on out of that shell and join a mommy group. Yep, a mommy group. Making new friends who share in the same experience as you can be a game changer. Don’t make yourself an island. Parenting is a communal effort.
Don’t make excuses! Keep in mind…
Mommy groups (or parenting groups) don’t always have to be organized. Setting up time with people from your local church, or other social venues are great ways to connect with people that you may already know and haven’t established a relationship with.
You can grow together and look out for one another. You can also keep one another motivated trailblazing into this stepping back into swag journey. There is nothing more powerful than working together on the same goal.
5. Slowly restart regaining your pre-pregnancy look. No, not the weight, just the look. Everyone has “a look,” “a style,” or some kind of swag that makes you, your unique self.
Maternity leave can easily become SURVIVAL MODE! This can dampen your look. Don’t fall into that trap for too long. And if you already have, no worries. Try dressing like your old self at least one day a week. The following week, try two days. Then, three days…and so forth.
Now, I am not going to just throw out a bunch of random advice without a purpose. From my lens, you are a world changer! Yes, you!
Each time you have an interaction with your child, that interaction shapes their perception of the world around them. Putting yourself on the back burner too long can have a negative impact on your ability to provide the best world for your child. Sometimes, it honestly starts from within. Sometimes, it’s superficial until it becomes real. Believe me, I’ve been there twice. Finding you, after extending every physical, emotional, and psychological part of you can be quite the challenge. But, I am here to let you know that you can regain your best self, in order to be your best self for that little face looking and learning from you.
Keep in mind, these are just a few tips. There are countless ways you can start to step back into that mommy swag before your precious sugar came onto the scene. I’ve started your action plan and I want you to execute it! And…don’t limit yourself to my ideas. Share some of yours with this community. People are waiting to hear from you!
Take care y’all! C